D P DUB

I have returned now, late in the night, from what could very well be one of my last meetings with my Danish teammates that I've come to know in my time here. We went to Mackie's, the American-themed restaurant and bar, run by some British guy. For those of you out there who have been with me since the beginning, this was the first restaurant I ate at in town. The place didn't change a bit; the pizzas were still comically-overloaded with toppings and the walls laden crazy crap. I enjoyed a 'Highlander' personal pie, which featured a generous helping of ground beef on top. It was tasty, but it still seemed a bit busy for someone who grew up with quality-over-quantity, at least when it comes to 'za. Don't get me wrong, most pizza joints here do feature one or two signature pies that are as tasty as they are innovative, but at times too much is too much. It will be nice to return very soon to more traditional pizza stylings, including a new place my folks sampled last week. They were 'kind' enough to share every last finger-licking detail about this particular establishment; I started gnawing on my mattress in anticipation.

Enough about food for now, but tonight's event really kind of brought things full-circle for my Danish experience. Looking at all the things that I've done in between my two trips to Mackie's, I must say that the list is rather long. The goings-on that have been featured in this blog really only scratch the service of my activity in this country (due in part to my laziness and not posting more frequently since the summer). Thus, I delivered my proclamation last week that I would dig deep and set a realistic goal of three Danish events to share with you all, before my time here has expired. Right now, I offer you the first of these:

Back in late August, I took in a very special event with Thomas Bager ('Steve the Pirate' stunt double, to those who might not remember). This particular gig was held at a middle school in his hometown of Randers (Rannuhs), about forty minutes north of Aarhus. This was fitting, considering most of those in attendance probably attended the very same school. Despite being some of the oldest in the building (save for those kids' parents), we entered, undaunted with grins on our faces. We were about to step back in time to witness a variation on something which used to mean so much to both of us. I am speaking, of course, about professional wrestling, though be advised that the term 'professional' is used here in the loosest of senses.

Quick history about Dansk Pro Wrestling: A few years back there was a fellow, whom many knew inernationally as the ''Danish Hulk Hogan" named Asbjørn Riis. Aside from hosting his own weekly, Danish-overdubbed WWF and WCW programs and making ocassional appearances where the Hulkster could not (or more likely, would not) go, Riis ran a wrestling school and trained aspiring Danes on the finer points of the squared-circle. Many moons ago, Bager actually attended said school and for a brief period, enjoyed seemingly no fame and fortune as a wrassler (I have promised to keep his alterego a secret, to avoid fan mail and such).

He assured me that these guys are not paid and that they just do it because they love it. He also told me he expected to see some of the same people hanging around, whom used to train with and have matches against so many years ago. He told me that he hoped I wasn't expecting too much out of what we were about to see and I responded by saying I was excited just to go.



When we got there, in addition to about eighty kids with a few parents mixed in, we sure enough encountered some of his former rivals, including a guy who ''lives on the rock'' as Bager described. He used this expression to mean that this fellow doesn't have a job and lives off only the bare essentials. In turn, he saves what little money he has for about two years so that he can go to Wrestlemania every third year. Must be a hard life; I could tell he was doing his best to unwind that day in his Crocs and homemade t-shirt.

There were five matches on the day, complete with entrances and theme music, promos (in Danish), terrible costumes and more. Only about two or three of those guys could actually sustain a decent match for more than a few minutes and overall, I would rate the wrestling ability on the day as 'sub-par.' Showmanship for most wasn't much better but, dammit, they tried and we sure got a good laugh out of it. We each wished that the place was both bigger and more crowded so that our outbursts wouldn't be heard by, well, all in attendance. I give credit to those guys; they really looked to be having a good time. They were trying their best to have the event resemble something close to what it was supposed to look like and most importantly, they sold it well for the kids. The kids were actually not that bad of an audience; chanting, counting, jeering and cheering when appropriate for of most of the afternoon.


When the dust settled and the plastic (that's right, plastic) chairs had been knocked aside or folded up and smashed harmlessly across another's back, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Although Bager described what we saw as the worst he'd witnessed in his days, I don't think it mattered much. We came to be entertained and I believe that we were. Highs and lows on the afternoon are as follows:

BEST IN-RING PERSONA: Erik Isaksen (obvious heel, did promo in Norwegian)

BEST THEME MUSIC: Kool Krede (his own rap cut, ripped-off version of John Cena's)

BEST MOVE: Top-rope Moonsault by Chaos (actually pretty impressive)

EFFORT AWARD: Tank (average wrestler, kids loved him - saw him at the gym once)

WORST CHARACTER: Sonne (the mark of a good heel)

BUFFET CHAMPION: Kimball (first one out, couldn't stop laughing when I saw him)

BEST/WORST STABLE: Offline (suggested changing name to 'Offline & Out of Shape')



One down, two and change to go. Stick around for more fun, brother.

Travelogue - The Final Chapter

Yikes, never thought this day would come. Here's the last installment, as promised:

BERLIN: July 20 - 23

We arrived in Germany and immediately were overtaken by its efficiency. I know that sounds cliche, but seriously mean it. The place just had a feeling like everything worked really well; even the air felt easier to breathe. We took a train from the airport to our hostel, which was located on a street called Görlitzer Bahnhof (we soon began referring to it quite frequently as 'Gorilla Street'). Although there were no great apes present, much to our dismay, the train stop was located about twenty feet from the front door of our accommodation. This allowed us to take considerable advantage of the aforementioned 'German Efficiency,' in the form of a top-notch public transit system. For all it has to offer, our time in Berlin was rather short. However, we were able to see just about all the most-desired tourist attractions thanks to yet another free city tour. We also managed to hit a few great museums and other attractions, which I will detail in the photos below:

Like we had a choice?

Walking through the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe designed by famed American architect, Peter Eisenman. Inaugurated in 2005, sixty years following the end of WWII, the Memorial is completely ambiguous and does not make a mention of the Holocaust anywhere; it is up to the individual to interpret it as he or she sees fit. Look it up for yourselves - definitely one of the coolest and most thought-provoking things I've ever come across.

In front of one of the last remaining sections of the Berlin Wall. This was actually part of the westernmost or 'first' portion of the Wall (the second Wall was located in East Berlin). Behind the Wall now stands the Topography of Terror, a museum which chronicles the rise of the Third Reich. It is actually built atop the former sites of the administrative buildings of the Gestapo and the SS. It contained a fascinating collection of photographs and documents from both members of the Nazi Regime and those whom it persecuted - some really powerful stuff in there.

A great deal of the old city was destroyed during the Second World War. This building shows some of the only remaining examples of this type of devastating combat.

If you look closely behind the glass, you'll see a room filled with empty bookshelves. This is the memorial to repression and censorship, culminating with Nazi book burnings during the height of the Regime's power. After seeing this, I couldn't stop imitating Sean Connery (complete with Scottish accent) as Henry Jones, Sr. from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, "It tells me that goosestepping morons like yourselves should try reading books instead of burning them!" Dave tired of that about as quickly as I started doing it.

Brandenburg Gate at dusk. Former city gate and symbol of peace, it was built in the late 18th Century. It was fully restored about ten years ago, as it suffered serious damage during WWII.

View from inside the dome of the Reichstag, the German Parliament. We were the last two allowed in that night (our last in the city), after braving a queue that looked extremely grim. I likened this amazing structure to a 'big glass shawarma.' Although it probably wouldn't taste very good in a pita, it did offer some stunning reflections as it sits literally atop the seat of Germany's government. Those who come to view each day are positioned above the officials below, symbolic to the fact this was not the case for so many years beforehand.

BRUSSELS: July 23 - 25

This was the wild card on our trip. We originally thought of hitting Amsterdam following Germany, but Dave suggested a stop over in Belgium and since neither of us knew much about the place, we thought it might be a fun little detour. How wrong we were. If our time in Berlin was too short, than our stay in the Capitol of the European Union basically never took place. We both could not get enough of the city's quirkiness and its ever-apparent juxtaposition between old and new. That and the waffles. I kid you not, they are EVERYTHING they are cracked up to be. We saw some cool sights, visited a brewery, ate some great food and visited a bar with over 2,000 beers in its inventory, including one that was recently voted the ''Best in the World." We had a hard time disagreeing with this distinction. If you ever find yourself traveling the Old Country, please do yourself a favor and visit Brussels.








PARIS: July 25 - 28

I couldn't believe the rudeness we experienced at the hands of all the Parisians we encountered in the City of Light. It was like they could smell that we were two boorish Americans and they went out of their way to beat us with freshly baked baguettes. Okay, so that never happened. And the people there weren't rude at all. They were actually pretty friendly. When we took a tour of the city, our guide basically likened the French perspective on foreigners to the old adage about animals being more afraid of you than you are of them. Okay, so that never happened, either, but she just said be nice to them and they'll treat you the same way. That did happen on several ocassions and really made for a nice conclusion to our travels. I'd go into more detail, but the pictures below should do all of the talking. Most of you should recognize each of the landmarks below, except for 'Crocojazz,' which Dave and I really hoped was a group of crocodile-musicians, though we were not fortunate enough to find out if this was the case. After our time here (which included meeting up with an old friend we knew as an exchange student from high school), Dave flew back to the US and me to back to Denmark.







This one took forever, hope you enjoy it. Be back soon with more adventures.

A Declaration

Alright, so here's the scoop: I sat down on Sunday, September 26th to post what was to be the final installment of the travelogue, as I said I would in my post two days before that. It was a rather eerie afternoon; pretty cold and extremely windy, even by Danish standards. As I attempted to log into my account, the browser didn't seem to cooperate and I was unsuccessful the first time. And the second time. And the third... Finally, by the fifth or sixth attempt, I managed to get in but figured something was awry. Nevertheless, I was determined to stay true to my word and do some bloggin'. As I wrote, the auto-save feature was completely out-of-commission and I knew that my work stood a good chance of being lost in the series of tubes that Alaska Senator Ted Stevens warned us about several years back. Before I invested too much time and energy into what seemed to be a aimless project, I tried to publish what I had and low-and-behold, it didn't work. Same story for the next few hours then and after long, I waved the white flag and once again, let down the seven remaining NTD fans out there.

Well, I wish I could say that has been the case since then, but aside from being out of town last week, I've simply been around and not writing. This displeases me, really. The entries on my travels got me into a little rhythm (a very little rhythm) and I was having fun with it. But that stupid episode really set me back and here I am now, two weeks later, self-loathing and toting more lame excuses. Boo-hoo: get over it, ya mook. Something must be done.

With that, I sit before you now on my exercise ball (in good posture) and offer this proclamation:

"My time in Denmark is short. Before long, I shall return to the land of my people and resume whatever it was that I was doing before I left. However, I am a man of service and cannot in good conscience leave this Danish soil without upholding that duty, which I so faithfully executed during the better part of my first months here. The following information, via Now that's Danish!, will be delivered to you, the humble readers of said publication, before my stay is completed:

- The final details of my travels thoughout the lands, Europe

- No less than three (3) events or commentaries on things Danish, which I found particularly entertaining

- My final thoughts on the Kingdom, Denmark

Take this as you will, for I feel my past failures and absences have already compromised the integrity of your reading pleasure. However, if you can find it in yourselves to check the progress of this digital word dipository over the next week or so, I vow you shan't be disappointed."

There you have it. Hopefully my olde-tymie speak has won a few of you back. I look forward to making good on this declaration as my triumphant 'last stand.'

Unfortunately, this won't be happening tonight, as I will be awaking at the very uncommon hour of six tomorrow morning for what might be one of the events I'll be sharing with you soon. Check back to find out!

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Not good enough for you? Hmm ... I suppose I deserve that. Well, I can offer you this (and no, I won't be counting this as one of the entries I just promised):

If any of you have ever enjoyed a so-called 'Eat Free on your Birthday' promotion at a restaurant in the US, you've probably left the joint hungry and disillusioned. Most places wave this offer in your face, ignoring the fine print that typically reads, ''Up to a $10 Value." Last I checked, that's not eating FREE on your birthday, folks; that's eating ten bucks of free food and then you're left shelling out the rest.

If you're looking to avoid the heartbreak associated with moments like this, do yourself a favor and come to Denmark on your special day. In a custom that is extremely atypical of most things Danish, a family restaurant 'round these parts called Bone's allows you to come on in, show some ID that says it's your fødselsdagen (fouh-sells-day-en) and enjoy a meal on them, no questions asked. All you have to do is buy your own drink. I did this tonight with a few friends and enjoyed 289 Kroner (about fifty bucks, US) worth of ribs. Bone's is an American-themed steakhouse, much like a Smokey Bones or Texas Roadhouse. I must say that the ribs were just as good as any that one would get at either of the aforementioned places. Below is a picture of me with my delicious present, complete with birthday flag. It is tradition here to surround the birthday boy or girl with flags, a custom that started back in the German-occupied Denmark of World War II. This was to signify that the people would never let go of their heritage and that they would be proud in the face of adversity. In my case, I was just hungry.


I'd say it was a good day. Talk to you soon.