D P DUB

I have returned now, late in the night, from what could very well be one of my last meetings with my Danish teammates that I've come to know in my time here. We went to Mackie's, the American-themed restaurant and bar, run by some British guy. For those of you out there who have been with me since the beginning, this was the first restaurant I ate at in town. The place didn't change a bit; the pizzas were still comically-overloaded with toppings and the walls laden crazy crap. I enjoyed a 'Highlander' personal pie, which featured a generous helping of ground beef on top. It was tasty, but it still seemed a bit busy for someone who grew up with quality-over-quantity, at least when it comes to 'za. Don't get me wrong, most pizza joints here do feature one or two signature pies that are as tasty as they are innovative, but at times too much is too much. It will be nice to return very soon to more traditional pizza stylings, including a new place my folks sampled last week. They were 'kind' enough to share every last finger-licking detail about this particular establishment; I started gnawing on my mattress in anticipation.

Enough about food for now, but tonight's event really kind of brought things full-circle for my Danish experience. Looking at all the things that I've done in between my two trips to Mackie's, I must say that the list is rather long. The goings-on that have been featured in this blog really only scratch the service of my activity in this country (due in part to my laziness and not posting more frequently since the summer). Thus, I delivered my proclamation last week that I would dig deep and set a realistic goal of three Danish events to share with you all, before my time here has expired. Right now, I offer you the first of these:

Back in late August, I took in a very special event with Thomas Bager ('Steve the Pirate' stunt double, to those who might not remember). This particular gig was held at a middle school in his hometown of Randers (Rannuhs), about forty minutes north of Aarhus. This was fitting, considering most of those in attendance probably attended the very same school. Despite being some of the oldest in the building (save for those kids' parents), we entered, undaunted with grins on our faces. We were about to step back in time to witness a variation on something which used to mean so much to both of us. I am speaking, of course, about professional wrestling, though be advised that the term 'professional' is used here in the loosest of senses.

Quick history about Dansk Pro Wrestling: A few years back there was a fellow, whom many knew inernationally as the ''Danish Hulk Hogan" named Asbjørn Riis. Aside from hosting his own weekly, Danish-overdubbed WWF and WCW programs and making ocassional appearances where the Hulkster could not (or more likely, would not) go, Riis ran a wrestling school and trained aspiring Danes on the finer points of the squared-circle. Many moons ago, Bager actually attended said school and for a brief period, enjoyed seemingly no fame and fortune as a wrassler (I have promised to keep his alterego a secret, to avoid fan mail and such).

He assured me that these guys are not paid and that they just do it because they love it. He also told me he expected to see some of the same people hanging around, whom used to train with and have matches against so many years ago. He told me that he hoped I wasn't expecting too much out of what we were about to see and I responded by saying I was excited just to go.



When we got there, in addition to about eighty kids with a few parents mixed in, we sure enough encountered some of his former rivals, including a guy who ''lives on the rock'' as Bager described. He used this expression to mean that this fellow doesn't have a job and lives off only the bare essentials. In turn, he saves what little money he has for about two years so that he can go to Wrestlemania every third year. Must be a hard life; I could tell he was doing his best to unwind that day in his Crocs and homemade t-shirt.

There were five matches on the day, complete with entrances and theme music, promos (in Danish), terrible costumes and more. Only about two or three of those guys could actually sustain a decent match for more than a few minutes and overall, I would rate the wrestling ability on the day as 'sub-par.' Showmanship for most wasn't much better but, dammit, they tried and we sure got a good laugh out of it. We each wished that the place was both bigger and more crowded so that our outbursts wouldn't be heard by, well, all in attendance. I give credit to those guys; they really looked to be having a good time. They were trying their best to have the event resemble something close to what it was supposed to look like and most importantly, they sold it well for the kids. The kids were actually not that bad of an audience; chanting, counting, jeering and cheering when appropriate for of most of the afternoon.


When the dust settled and the plastic (that's right, plastic) chairs had been knocked aside or folded up and smashed harmlessly across another's back, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Although Bager described what we saw as the worst he'd witnessed in his days, I don't think it mattered much. We came to be entertained and I believe that we were. Highs and lows on the afternoon are as follows:

BEST IN-RING PERSONA: Erik Isaksen (obvious heel, did promo in Norwegian)

BEST THEME MUSIC: Kool Krede (his own rap cut, ripped-off version of John Cena's)

BEST MOVE: Top-rope Moonsault by Chaos (actually pretty impressive)

EFFORT AWARD: Tank (average wrestler, kids loved him - saw him at the gym once)

WORST CHARACTER: Sonne (the mark of a good heel)

BUFFET CHAMPION: Kimball (first one out, couldn't stop laughing when I saw him)

BEST/WORST STABLE: Offline (suggested changing name to 'Offline & Out of Shape')



One down, two and change to go. Stick around for more fun, brother.