Some Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.

Considering I'm spending a great deal of time here, I thought it might be nice to write a little bit about the gym I've been working out at lately. Not unlike the "Dodgeball" rivalry between 'GloboGym' and 'Average Joe's,' there are two main health clubs that attract most of the Århus locale looking to get in shape. That is, assuming anybody here is actually out of shape. Very few people here would fit or rather, spill over, the mold of those you would find in an American news montage of large bellies for an obesity package. This is surprising because tonight, two of the guys prepared a traditional Danish dinner of bacon and potatoes in a heavy cream and parsley sauce (well, maybe not surprising because they were both offensive linemen).

Moving on, the two gyms are called Fittness World and Fitness.dk. When I first heard this, I immediately pictured the scene from ''Coming to America," where Cleo McDowell points out the subtle differences between McDonald's and McDowell's ("They have the Golden Arches, we have the Golden 'Arcs'"). Although I wrote a few weeks ago about how I had been training at Team Danmark Center, I have since moved most of my operations to Fitness.dk. I will probably return to the training facility at least part of the time as the season moves on, but for now, I've been pretty satisfied at Fitness.

It is a health club first and foremost, not a true gym, but I am able to do quite a bit there and take advantage of its two convenient locations (both about a ten to fifteen minute bike ride away) and long hours. It is very comparable to a Gold's Gym, with less emphasis on weights and more emphasis on spinning/step/boxing/dance/something called COMBATBODY classes. What's kind of neat is that my membership includes all of these and as much "sol" (tanning) as I want (When the guy showed me around the first day, he pointed that out and I just kinda stared at him for about a minute until he realized I wasn't one of those reprehensible 'Jersey Shore' actors).

This brings me to my next point. Before coming to DK, a friend who'd been here for a while beforehand pointed out that, "Danish men spend more time in front of a mirror than Danish women." Thankfully, most of the Tigers do not fill this profile (well, at least MOST of them). Many of those who frequent the gym however, do. It's actually quite amusing. A typical outfit is as follows:

- A very thin t shirt that's somewhere between a v neck and a ''Pirates of the Caribbean's" extra's tunic.
- Soccer shorts OR sweat pants OR (most popular) clam diggers.
- Socks that may or may not match whatever may or may not be on a given patron's feet.
- Sneakers OR these weird boxing boots OR just socks that may or may not match the carpet.

OPTIONAL:

- Hair gel. (LOTS of it ... wait, that's not much different from Gold's back home)
- Tattoos (tribal and Chinese characters are making a huge comeback)

With this sort of image to uphold, a lot of the male members typically feel the need to act the part. This week alone, I've witnessed two near fights between the same guy (who doesn't appear to be completely in balance) and a few tough hooligans who were (I believe) hassling him. It could have been the other way around but I just looked away and kept about my business. Yesterday though, I asked a guy if he would remove his water bottle from a piece of equipment so that I could use it and I think he took exception to that. Either that or he didn't speak English (NOT the case I'm sure). Maybe the bottle had a few more sets. Punk.

There are no water fountains inside, but they do have a sink that dispenses nice cold water (just as good as NH tap water if I might say so myself) and plastic cups. This is about the only place I've found that you don't have to pay for water (including most restaurants). The place is really clean, the staff is friendly and the TVs play some of the finest current series the past thirty years has had to offer. Some of these include 'Ally McBeal,' 'MTV's Made' (ca. 2005) and 'Little House on the Prarie.' Last week, several members watched in horror as Mr. Edwards was mauled by bear. It was actually some pretty terrifying stuff for 1976.

All in all though, I'm pleased to have a nice place to workout and have been enjoying a pretty nice routine for the last two weeks now. Things are going so well here, maybe I'll look into another hobby (assuming I don't breach any details of my contract) ...


Frankly, I don't see any one of these jabronis fit to go toe-to-toe with "DemBones" & Tim "The Great" Wall (maybe Big Van Walter & Fight Club). Man, I really hope I get to see one of these before I leave.

Sleep soon. Good night, all. See you soon.